Warning: This is prose is an original work of fiction about an aching and divided world. May we develop a culture that values the strength to love.

 

Somebody once tried to tell me that we were all God’s children,

That all people were born into His kingdom,

Flesh of His flesh,

And meant to reign over the Earth on His behalf, with His grace.

I never bought that crap.

 

If people believed in God, would they alter his garden so drastically, that the earth itself is fighting back for life?

How can we say we were put here by Him,

Only to treat this place like crap!?!

 

If people believed in God, then

Why do so many of us try to rework the image He gave us?

We prick, pull, peel, perm, slim down and slice up our bodies so dramatically, that

We’re often unrecognizable to ourselves.

If we were created in His image, why do we mutilate it so?

I never bought that crap.

 

If people really believed in God, then

Why do we give in so easily to jealousy,

Riding the coat-tails of others,

Admonishing those who do good, but

We’re still victims of what we consider to be as ‘perfect’.

You can’t be Woke in this word unless you’re Jesus,

And you see what happened to Him.

If Jesus Christ walked into the White House, The Vatican or #10 today,

They’d crucify Him all over again.

Did I mention today’s Easter Saturday…the one day between crucifixion and resurrection…

The one day when Jesus is truly dead…

Only the believers believe that he’ll come back.

But His followers today would be ready to make Him a martyr all over again…

Just to keep their story straight.

I never bought that crap.

WWJD Today?

If Jesus walked in here today,

I believe he’d be trying to heal the masses with some universal salve that cures all…

But drug companies saw their profits dive and so they crucified Him.

They were out for blood, and with the strength of their lobbying,

Blood is what they got.

 

 

 

If Jesus walked in here today,

I believe he’d feed the needy.

But conservatives would see their power draining,

Since they needed to demonize the poor as welfare losers.

Jesus was giving them a hand up, not a hand-out, and

Many had climbed out of poverty,

Too many climbed out to manipulate, so

They labelled Him a socialist.

Conservatives got together and decided to crucify Him.

 

If Jesus walked in here today,

I believe he’d rid us of WMD.

That includes guns!

Masses of people are killed by their own guns.

But Jesus wouldn’t want people going around gunning down wild animals for sport, either– Even to the point of extinction.

They called Jesus a tree-hugger because He brought up the near extinction of the North American bison in the same breath as

He gave the stank face to big-game hunters today.

Jesus said:

“Hanging the dead corpse of your kill on the wall was death worship,” and

Questioned if such people could call themselves Christian?

He was here to promote Life.

 

Jesus said anyone was a hypocrite for restricting access to birth control.

He accused those religious zealots of misusing His name in order to control women’s bodies and wealth through meds and policies.

Jesus promoted reproductive choices with the proceeds people always gave Him.

Jesus even invested in birth control for men, including

A pill, an injectable and a scrotum implant.

He claimed He was empowering men to be able to have that choice.

 

Worse still, Jesus was not only a carpenter, but an avid horticulturist…

He grew His own.

Everything.

And He had led pilgrimages through forests to hug trees.

He only hugged trees tapped for logging,

Jesus loved hugging trees so much he’d once got several thousand people to go down to the Amazon and chain themselves to the trees high up in the canopy.

He said forests were his Father’s first cities; who were we to tear them down?

Logging was sacrilege.

 

 

 

And as for this tree-hugging crap,

Jesus was a vegan, too.

He said He couldn’t hurt any of God’s creatures, and

Even though He didn’t suggest we all refrain from meat,

He used His YouTube channel to interview more humane animal farmers around the world.

(Oh yeah, there was also that time Jesus went to Davos – uninvited-

He weighed in on fair trade. Isolationists were none too pleased).

 

He even had vegan cosmetics lines.

He had interviews with His farmers, factory workers, warehousing, delivery, even retailers to show good working conditions and fair pay.

Because of this, consumers said His pricing was fair, and began campaigns to press the other major companies into transparency, too.

LVMH’s sales took nose dive, as did others.

Worse, still, He only marketed His vegan haircare brand, Glory Locks, through

Online tutorials for wooly hair.

His conditioner, Kinky Salvation, became a sensation in the natural hair care community, where

It was discovered that the formula also beat hair loss!

Jesus could regrow hair!

That year, GQ put Him on the cover as The Man of the Millennium.

He caused a bidding war between major cosmetics companies when He agreed to sell His patented mineral foundation, Holy Teint.

There were lines in stores when He released new compact motifs-

The blue dove and the red cross sold out within hours.

Reviews in Vogue, Bazaar, Cosmo and more all said His foundation matched coppery skin tones above all other brands.

His vegan cocoa butter, Divine Skin, had seen sales of Vaseline drop by 50%.

 

As a vegan,

He was most animate about respecting God’s plants enough not manipulate seed genes that can’t reproduce,

Just so farmers would have to buy more each season.

The giants of pesticides and seeds, beef, logging all got together to take Him down.

Big chicken, Big Fish and Big Pork all joined in the Jesus bashing, too,

For they knew he’d soon come for them.

He’d already posted a nasty comment on a viral video about an industrial chicken farm, for which Netflix had given Him a ten-part special called: Unholy Food, Inc.

He went all vegan, too!

Not even honey was safe,

And the episodes of palm oil and avocado saw those commodities’ stocks dive the day after each debut!

Now, that’s gangster!

Jesus was no joke!

 

 

 

 

At Michael Jackson’s funeral,

Jesus did an interpretive dance to the artist’s Will You Be There.

At the end of His performance, He suddenly grabbed the mic in tears and said:

“I love my Jackson 5 nostrils, and I believe if Michael had, too, he’d still be here.”

Katherine and Joe Jackson just hung their heads.

 

‘I love my Jackson 5 nostrils’ quickly became a meme and

Later incorporated into a pop song.

He was accused of being anti-white.

In an MTV interview about the controversial lyrics, He said:

“The clear message here is that…

What we consider beautiful too often has too little to do with our authentic selves.

We do the exact same to mother Earth,

Digging, prodding, cementing over and dirtying up the air and waters of My father’s kingdom.”

Jesus was deep.

 

He was an avid reader, too.

Jesus wept when He read the Letter from a Birmingham Jail.

When asked for comment He simply said:

“So few in My Father’s kingdom have the strength to love.”

 

For the 50^th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots,

Jesus accepted invitations to lead Pride parades all over the world.

People thought he’d had enough in New York, Chicago, Boston, LA and of course, San Fran.

But many were surprised when Jesus was on the first float at Black Gay Pride in Atlanta and DC!

None were shocked, then, when

Jesus showed up at London and Paris Pride and Christopher Street Day in Berlin.

But no one, and I mean no one,

Imagined for a second

That He’d dress up silly and

Dance with a gay Christian Carnival Crew at Cologne’s CSD Day!

When did He even have time to practice those moves?

Who knew He had such an angelic voice…

Until they heard His rendition of George Michael’s Jesus to a Child.

He brought everyone to tears that day in Heumarkt Square.

Plus, everybody loved the performance He did with Conchita Wurst of Beyoncé and Lady Gaga’s Telephone.

The two bearded men literally re-enacted the whole music video !

Who knew Conchita could do Gaga drag?

They popped-locked-n-rolled in spandex just like in the video.

Who knew Jesus had a black-boy-bubble-butt…

Like somebody cut a basketball in half and hung it off His tail bone.

Both videos went viral.

This was way too much for those in Africa who’d used His name to bash gay people.

They buckled down and passed anti-gay laws,

Nigeria making sure they out did Uganda.

They dismissed this Jesus as evidence of the decay in European values.

When He accepted the invitation to Pride in Cape Town and Nairobi…

Those in the region got ready.

Pride was canceled in Uganda.

Others roused lynch mobs from the pulpit.

They crucified Him all over again.

 

If Jesus walked in here today,

I believe he’d heal the disabled.

Jesus wouldn’t heal their conditions by some miracle of making a blind man see, a deaf man hear, or a crippled man walk.

Nah, nothing so simple.

Jesus removed what really hurts – fear and discrimination.

He targeted the stigma against disability.

No longer viewing different abilities as a liability,

Jesus undermined entire industries built around keeping them down.

 

Suddenly, office workers had to compete with the wheel-chair bound because,

Who needs to be able to walk into an office?

People had already seen how Autistic Savants could

Show us patterns in our lives that unfold life’s mysteries,

But Jesus showed the people how every person of every ability had something to contribute.

Charities for the poor fell because,

There were no more poor people – everyone had enough.

Politicians who’d been shoring-up votes by vilifying the Other as leachers could no longer galvanize their base around these fears.

The people eventually elected politicians who represented the people.

Somebody had to “take the country back, to make it great again,” so

Big Lobbying fought back.

Jesus had removed the control large corporations had over these politicians, so

They crucified Him.

 

Needless to say, because Jesus intervened,

There was universal healthcare that cared for the whole body – any body.

They resisted calling Him a socialist, but when Corona happened,

Everyone saw that unlike society, diseases don’t discriminate.

More of those who confessed to follow Him could see the sense in universal healthcare.

Insurance companies got together with Big Pharma and crucified Jesus for he’d taken away their monopoly.

Jesus exposed all their tricks, from

Inventing diseases to which only they had the cure, to

Hiding antidotes when they could instead sell us life-long supplies of meds that

Keep us just barely alive.

Jesus was fed up with humanity, but never gave up.

Jesus not only made room for the disabled, but

Made sure everyone got looked after.

He had to die.

He was much too good for this world.

It was clear to them that the only good Jesus was a dead Jesus –

The dead one they’d created in their holy books.

This resurrected one just wouldn’t do.

 

So, Jesus had gone too far.

War-mongers would vilify Him in the UN, and

Circumvent the authority of the world community, and

Wage a military campaign to track Him down.

For these war-mongers would charge Jesus with hoarding WMD.

They preferred the Iron Curtain to the Prince of Peace, so

They convincingly made the public scared of Him.

 

Big men wielding big sticks hunted Him down,

During a 40-day Vipassana retreat He’d taken in the Judean desert.

24-hour News spent months replaying drone and Body-Cam footage of His last moments,

Where their bullets crucified Him on the spot.

Just as they’d done for Osama Bin Laden,

Crowds of Christians gathered that night at the capitol to celebrate the blood-shedding.

They were death worshippers.

They even built a statue of Him on that spot to commemorate His sacrifice.

Crowds gathered there each Easter for festivities.