What makes university unique?

Unlike school, students make the choice to come to university. What’s more, it is often a student’s first-time experiencing independence from caregivers, e.g. outside the purview of their own parents. For many, this may mean learning how to shop, cook, budget, clean and take care of their own stuff. This is an entirely new series of decisions leading to the person you will become. Never shy away from seeking help, support and advice, and use every resource at hand, including and especially people.

Build relationships. You will undoubtedly be tempted to spend lots of time on your digital devices – alone – but this will most certainly lead you down a dark path towards isolation, loneliness and the false feeling of control. Instead, accept that you must fashion a new independent self. Who are you outside your caregivers/parent’s home? Put the phone down and give yourself a fighting chance to find out!

Find kinship beyond superficial similarities, and sow the seeds for happiness in your new environment. At our university, the biggest mistake I’ve consistently seen students make is failing to create community here. Often, for example, UK-based students are anxious to spend the weekend at home with their parents or school friends. International students may either indulge in regional tourism, indulge their homesickness, and/or only seek to build relationships within their own ethno-linguistic group. Again, this all feeds a false sense of control.

This mirrors my experiences at Hanoi University of Science and Technology, where I taught during my sabbatical year in Vietnam (see featured image). There, I had to not only learn from my students how to navigate the local environment, but crucially, learn local classroom norms from both them and colleagues so that I could teach more effectively.

With that said: Build relationships right here through the university community. Join a club, explore and develop your interests and cultivate support networks. These may overlap or be three different ventures. If you work, then find employment that anchors you here in Northampton. Use every job experience as A) An opportunity to improve your communication skills, and B) As building blocks towards your own goals.

Within the first few weeks of starting university 30 years ago, I met a student who quickly became my best friend. He came from a country I couldn’t have pointed out on a map, was from a different religion, and studied something far from my own interests. As our friendship blossomed, we easily discovered that we had far more in common than not, which in turn fed my own curiosity and confidence to get to know more about this planet we all call home. Even though he’s passed away, our friendship still sustains me to this day (Rest in Power, dear Numair).

On the mentor/disciple relationship between students and teachers

At university, there is no separation between staff/students, adults/youth like in school. Please find opportunities to develop mentor/mentee relationships with your tutors*. Find a tutor with whom you can share your new world and reflect upon your growth. Ask them exactly what excellence looks like in their classroom and on assessments so you can foster the right study skills.

Yes, find mentors and become one, too!  Learn from others who are further along the journey you now tread. At the same time, find ways to work with youth to inspire those who follow your path. This not only develops your own confidence and communication skills, but collectively contributes to a vibrant university community.

As someone who has studied and practiced Buddhism my whole life, I am convinced that what we give, we get in return. Cultivate a spirit of generosity and feed your own open-mindedness. This support and tolerance will be returned to you ten-fold.

*hooks, bell (2003). Teaching Community: A pedagogy of hope. New York ; Routledge.