It’s my first days off after a set of shifts and I’m sitting here thinking that I am quite happy to spend my days off sleeping, spending time indoors and going out to exercise once per day. I am happy to rest on my days off for a few months as work is more tiring than usual.

I am relatively ‘new’ to my team of work colleagues but I still I miss them. I miss working with them rather than working with less people/alone. I miss their support, help and company. I miss dealing with familiar and usual situations at work. But I am not complaining, as the virus has thrown a spanner in the works of many organisations.

After finishing my last night shift I went to the shop to collect some essentials. Then I realised that I missed ‘normality’. Like not having to do strange distanced dances in shops with strangers whenever we find ourselves near to breaching the 2 metres of proximity rule with each other. And being able to cough in a shop without having to see the look of sheer panic plastered on the faces of those near-by.

Going to and from work has been a different experience, as the city centre is very quiet. Part of me likes this- it’s because my pace of everyday life can slow down a bit. There is less traffic, getting onto public transport is no longer an ‘every person for themselves’ situation. I have not had to watch as a train takes off without my said self being able to fit on it. And I don’t have to pretend that I am playing dodgems as I rush through hoards of people every time I reach the city centre.

I am no longer rushing around on my days off, making sure all tasks are completed, all purchases have been purchased, and that I have socialised enough before starting my next set of shifts. My once a day dogs walks are fabulous; the views are great, the flowers are beautiful, the sun is shining, there is no litter on the floors and it is quiet enough to hear the bird singing late into the afternoon.

I do miss seeing people though. I miss going to the pub/food places with friends and meeting up with my family. I miss going to my local park and seeing everyone enjoying themselves in the sun. I miss not doing the things that I had planned to do this spring and summer; like going to festivals, going abroad, and going on days out to the seaside with others.

Whilst technology has helped me to keep in contact with people I care about it just doesn’t feel the same as being in the constant presence of other humans. As it turns out, I cannot live with people, but I cannot live without them either.