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Game of Thrones ain’t shit

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This poem’s inspired from ‘Megatron’ by British poet Hollie McNish, and obviously there’s spoilers to follow. So, if you haven’t watched it and you read it, don’t come crying to me.

Hollie McNish performs Megatron

she said:

“the dragon queen’s the best

if I was a queen, I’d side with her and her kin

Dany’s nice and all that

but it’s Cersei who really wins

The Dragon Queen, Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke)
(Game of Thrones, HBO)

so many times, I’ve listened to this

since the end of HBO’s fantasy hit

and unto the fans, I say:

that show Game of Thrones ain’t shit

and every season since 2014

it continued in its pursuits

of sex, sweat and pleasure

but where it lacked in story

it cloaked itself in plot armour

saying that Arya and Jon

are unkillable, basically

because they can live forever

The unkillable Jon Snow (Kit Harington)
(Game of Thrones, HBO)

but these characters aren’t real

Dany, Jon, and the Lannisters…

if you want to see bad writing

look how Dany broke the wheel

I watched this show from the start

something we call a farce

including the gradual build up

when they killed off Ned Stark

at the top of those steps

never did I think a show could fall

as my heart shifted six inches left

and I knew every character’s name

and D&D, one bullet to our brains

to us the fans, who pledged

our fealty to the houses and clans

he said

“I felt this way after The Sopranos.”

he said

“I know, it’s the same”

Despite the finale, The Sopranos is still one of the greatest shows ever made

it’s not the same, this wasn’t one episode

and after that season finale

I sat in silence, hung my head in shame

my name’s not Jon, as his body

started to change, ribs realigned,

lungs redesigned. Bran defied nature

nine kingdoms out of seven

and D&D sent seasons 1 – 4 to heaven

and I’m still pissed off up to now

filled six episodes with air

an amniotic sack of stuff

HBO hacks are the ones that dared

destroy the show, look how it came to this

cus I know Game of Thrones ain’t shit

she said

you’re so extra

and that was it, because I know she’s

got to be taking the piss.

And every time, they’d praise Dany

I remember parents named

their children named after that shit

how she sacked the Capital

after travelling West

the dragon queen and her hoards

who freed herself and freed cities

but you know that show

Game of Thrones ain’t the best

and every time

I think about seasons 1 – 4

like when Bobby Baratheon

was skewered by that boar

my heart shifts to the right

it reverts back to this

and after four years

of doing that, I remember

how Game of Thrones ain’t shit

Mark Addy played King Robert I Baratheon
(Game of Thrones, HBO)

compared to many others shows

this one stood bold as brass

and the only thing fans gave

to these long games of thrones

(showing me nothing lasts forever)

is unwavering fealty

of which HBO gave no shits whatsoever.


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