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Why I refuse to join the hate train
In a world drowning in outrage, where every headline screams division and every scroll brings fresh fury, it’s easy to forget something fundamental: there’s still beauty everywhere.
Turn on the news and you’re bombarded with it all—bans, blame, and bitter arguments about who’s ruining what. Immigrants, the wealthy, the homeless, the young, the benefits claimants—everyone’s apparently the problem. It’s a relentless tide of negativity and moaning that can sweep you under if you’re not careful.
But what if we chose differently?
Here are a few things I noticed in the last couple of weeks:
I came across a book that someone left on a park bench with a note: “Free to a good home.” On another late night, a man saw a mother struggling—baby in one arm, shopping bags in the other—and didn’t hesitate to help her to her car. And if you’re thinking “why didn’t she use a trolley?” then you’re part of the problem I’m talking about, because there were no trolleys in that shop.
In another moment, a homeless person was offering water to a runner who’d collapsed in the heat, providing comfort when it mattered most.
Elsewhere, a teacher stayed late for his “troubled” student preparing for exams. When I asked why, he said: “Everyone calls him destructive. I refuse to lose hope. He’s just a slower learner, and I’ll support him as long as it takes.”
In another event, teenagers on bikes formed a protective barrier around an elderly woman crossing the road.
Small acts. Quiet kindness. The stuff that never makes headlines, doesn't trend on social media, and doesn't fuel debates.
The truth is, these things happen everywhere, all the time. While we’re busy arguing about who’s destroying society, society is quietly rebuilding itself through a million small kindnesses. The coffee lady in the Learning Hub who remembers your order. The elderly doorman at Milton Keyens Costco who draws smiley faces on reciepts and hands them to children on their way out, just to see them smile. The neighbour who randomly helps pick up litter in the neighbourhood with her girls every Sunday afternoon. The friend who texts to check in with the simple words “how are you?”
The truth is simple: for every voice spreading hate, there are countless others spreading hope. For every person tearing down, there are builders, healers, and helpers working in the quiet spaces between the noise.
Yes, problems exist. Yes, challenges are real. But so is the grandfather teaching his grandson about dignity and respect. So is the aunty teaching her niece how to bake. So is the library volunteer reading to the shelter dogs. So is the community garden where strangers become neighbours.
Today, I’m choosing to notice the nice. Not because I’m naive, but because I refuse to let the moaning and the loudest voices drown out the most important ones. The ones that remind us we’re more alike than different. The ones that choose connection over division.
Your turn: What nice thing will you notice today? Free your mind, pay attention—you'll see one.
Because in a sea of anger, being gentle isn’t weak or naive—it’s revolutionary.
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Does compassion have a place in Criminology or is this a forgotten element in Justice?
In recent months, I’ve been thinking about the idea of compassion and its diminishing presence in societies. Let me start by saying this blog wasn’t prompted by any specific event, but rather by observing the increasing prevalence of hate speech in media and public discourse. More and more, we are seeing this troubling pattern manifesting across all levels of society – from world leaders mocking marginalised populations, citizens spreading hate speech online, media outlets amplifying divisive rhetoric in the name of balanced reporting, workplaces failing their employees on many grounds, public institutions are becoming more and more intolerant of the ‘other’ – extending into criminal justice systems where overcrowded prisons, harsh sentencing guidelines, limited rehabilitation programmes, and the stigmatisation of former offenders all continue to reflect this absence of compassion.
Against this backdrop of increasing hostility, the teachings of Pope Francis (1936 – 2025) offer a powerful counterpoint that resonates beyond religious boundaries. He consistently championed respect, dignity, and compassion towards all people. You don’t have to be religious to recognise the universal truth in his words: “A little bit of mercy makes the world less cold and more just.” This intersection of justice and mercy naturally leads us to examine criminology through that very compassionate lens, because the moment we strip compassion from our criminal justice systems, the consequences become counterproductive. By this, I mean rehabilitation becomes secondary to punishment, criminogenic factors become ignored, recidivism rates become affected as former offenders encounter insurmountable barriers to reintegration and so forth.
The question I want you to ponder over this sunny weekend is: What defines us when compassion vanishes from our interactions? When hatred becomes our default response? Personally, I believe compassionate approaches to criminology do not weaken justice – they strengthen it by addressing root causes while maintaining accountability. I won’t elaborate further here, but if you’re interested in exploring these concepts more deeply, consider enrolling in my new module launching this September on global perspectives of crime, where a comparative approach to understanding and responding to crime will also be explored.
Have a lovely sunny weekend!
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St Valentines Day! Love and other emotions
This blog today is all about love…. or maybe not! As criminologists, we tend to see things slightly different, and our perspective is influenced by functions other than undying declarations of love.
Saint Valentine is associated with love and people celebrate the day with their special romantic person, or by pursuing any person of interest, with romantic cards. Greeting cards, bottles of wine, boxes of chocolates, bunches of flowers, heart shaped jewellery, lovely sonnets, sexy underwear, kinky gifts and over the top romantic gestures! All of the above are anticipated actions on this day. Any of these will act as a demonstration of love. In some ways the more enormous the gesture the greater the demonstration of love and intimacy to the intended special person. Many times, we hear those in a relationship rut complaining that “they don’t even buy me chocolates anymore” a sign that love has fizzled out.
Love is a powerful emotion, and I dare not to challenge it. Artists have created their best work on love! Religion has created its strongest appeal on love. People, the world over, have based their entire lives of how they feel about a person they choose to be their partner and share their lives with. So clearly love is important! Enough for an Austrian psychotherapist to create an entire theory on love and sex. We feel ready to go to war for love and we are completely convinced that love is the force that keeps us going. Love is strong and we feel it every day.
Therefore, it is slightly surprising that the patron saint of romantic love is a rather fictional character! The saint is meant to be a priest who lived in the 3rd century AD and martyred by tortured for his faith. There was no romance involved and there were no love poems written of the time. In fact, the Roman Catholic church did not recognise or mentioned this martyrdom at the time. The first accounts on St Valentine appear in the 6th and later the 9th centuries, some centuries later. Since then, the story of the saint is embellished further, until the 19th century when it becomes connected with romantic love in some tenuous way. For example, the more recent narratives claim that before his execution he would convert and cure the daughter of his jailer. He was also officiating wedding ceremonies between Christians which may have given him the romantic connection. In the 19th century we have the first mass production of love tokens dedicated to the day and in the 20th, century especially post 1960s the celebration was growing in popularity and appeal. Currently the day is a celebration that has a significant capitalist value. It is usually a commercial success midway between Christmas and Easter.
Some religious historians noted that in the Roman calendar in February there have been rituals and celebrations on fertility and cleanliness (physical, spiritual). It was the time presumably when young Romans prepared for sexual relations. Therefore, an amalgamation of the old practices and the then new religion overlap with an obscure Saint to act as the glue to connect them and reaffirm the importance of love. Ironically the Roman citizens of the time, in particular the patricians, would not recognise such acts! They married out of interest, connecting the wealth and power of different factions. In those cycles love was more of a chimera rather than a reality.
Romantic love with knights, towers, dragons and gestures of devotion will appear as fanciful tales. Who hasn’t heard of Odysseus and his beloved wife Penelope who remained faithful to him for 20 years! Her fidelity was not reciprocated, and Odysseus had multiple affairs and fathered several children across the Mediterranean. Not quite the romantic story people would like to believe. Romantic love was always a tale, with vivid twists and turns. Love appears almost pure, undiluted that lifts those in its path. Shakespeare wrote fantastic sonnets on love. Some of the best things ever written in English. Still his contemporaries did not recognise this love. The majority of people at the time died young, malnourished and exhausted. Those who barely survive cannot afford to embrace love. As for those in power their relationship with love can be summed up in the old mnemonic rhyme “divorced, beheaded, died; divorced, beheaded, survived”!
We presume that romantic love is a representation of two people having feelings for one other. That is a nice sentiment but historically weak. Love for women does not exist. Not because women are devoid of emotions; quite the contrary! Because women have been used in social transactions between men who barter and use them as part of their household. A feminist today can recognise, despite all assurances for equality, how unequal life is. Especially in the household! If anyone wants to see why love is not equal only see how domestic and intimate violence is spread between gender lines. Because St Valentine brings flowers and chocolates, but it also brings beatings and abuse. Across the year it is during holidays and significant dates, including St Valentines that violence against women surges. One can unfortunately deduce that love is not for women. Oh…. The irony as romantic novels and movies are presented mostly for women as “chick flicks”!
Earlier in this post, it was said that the bigger the romantic move the better! Who will do this big romantic gesture? A man with chivalrous intent. Our household data reveal that men will spend more than double on what women will spend on the day, making their romantic intent more obvious. Perhaps men are more romantic and feel the need to satisfy that internal need. Or maybe there are other emotions at play. Love is very powerful, but so is possessiveness. In a history of transactions men used women for trading, so their gestures may be a latent act of dominance, a fresh reminder of possession. Instead of giving them chocolates, you may as well urinate all over them. That way your beloved will have your scent and keep other suitors away. So, this is not love but control, jealousy and dominance. Every drop of wine, every piece of chocolate, every flower petal, is yet another link in the chain of ownership. In case this gets misunderstood, the individual who buys flowers isn’t a villain, but the history of this kind of love is pointing in this direction. Your partner may have the best intentions and the greatest love and regard for you, but our society has never really acknowledged the transactional relationship between men and women. It is similar to those who speak of the evils of slavery, but with no recognition of reparations. This love is not pure and clean. It is the darkest form of patriarchy that controls people making them to believe in an adult fairytale once the other story of Santa Claus is not believed any more.
Romantic actions target all incomes and all ages, but of course there is a drive to get younger people, new generations of customers, on the love spending machine. At this stage I shall write…what not to do when you are planning a romantic day! Do not go overboard. Love is something felt in the heart not in the pocket. Heart-shaped products do not say “I love you” more than square or round ones! Red is no more appealing than any other colour and of course if emotions are high, they tend to last more than a day! Ideally do not spend any money! In the unfortunate event that you do, do not cook your romantic meal with a sharp knife. You may pierce the palm of your hand and end up with stitches. Do not spread chocolate on a partner before establishing if they are allergic to any of the ingredients, you may end up in A&E. Do not offer them wine, if they have an intolerance to alcohol, they may vomit all over your pristine bedspread. Do not write something funny or profound if they are thick and unable to comprehend deeper meanings (in that case what are you doing with them???). Love is not an idea, a moment, a day, an instant. It is a lifetime however long or short it is. You will live in love and you will die in love. Even when you are by yourself love is in you and it cannot be defined by the actions of people around you. Finally, love is selfless so do not try to control them, “love is a rebellious bird that nobody can tame”!
Thoughts from the criminology team 