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“Give the children love, more love and still more love - and the common sense will come by itself” - Astrid Lindgren
My children are aged 5 and 7 and they have never been to school. We home educate and though ‘home’ is in the title, we are rarely there. Our days are usually filled with visits to museums and galleries, meet-ups with friends, workshops in lego, drama and science and endless hours at the park. We’ve never done a maths lesson: sometimes they will do workbooks, but mostly they like to count their money, follow a recipe, add up scores in a game, share out sweets… I am not their teacher but an enthusiastic facilitator – I provide interesting ideas and materials and see what meaning they can take and make from them. Children know their own minds and learning is what they are built for.
If there was ever a time to throw away the rulebook it’s when the rules have all changed. Put ‘home’ at the centre of your homeschooling efforts. Make it a safe and happy place to be. Fill it with soft, warm and beautiful things. Take your time.
All this to say that what children need most is your love and attention. This is so far from an ideal situation for anyone – so cut yourselves some slack and enjoy your time together. You don’t need to model your home like a school. Share stories and poems, cuddle, build dens, howl at the moon, play games, look for shapes in clouds and stars, do experiments round your kitchen table, bake cakes, make art, explore your gardens and outside spaces and look for nature everywhere. This is the stuff that memories are made of.
As adults we don’t continue to categorise our learning by subjects – we see the way things are interconnected across disciplines, sometimes finding parallels in unlikely places. When we allow children to pursue their own interests we give them the tools and the freedom to make their own connections.
What’s important is their happiness, their kindness, their ability to love and be loved in return. They are curious, they are ready made learning machines and they seek out the knowledge they need when they need it.
It’s an interesting time to be a home educator – more children than ever are currently out of school and the spotlight is on ‘homeschooling’. I prefer the term ‘home educator’ because for me and my family it isn’t about replicating the school environment at home and perhaps it shouldn’t be for you either.
Treat it as an extended holiday and do fun stuff together but also let them be bored.
My favourite TV show - Narcos - I have always been fascinated with the story of Pablo Escobar. Narcos gives a very good insight into the corruption behind the Columbian Cartel and as a viewer you are immersed into the shocking world of drug trafficking My favourite place to go - The theatre, I have been to see various productions. My all time favourite show would have to be The Lion King My favourite city - I love the hustle and bustle of London. There are so many things to do. So many sights to see and it is brimming full of culture My favourite thing to do in my free time - Shopping My favourite athlete/sports personality - Usain Bolt, he runs with so much finesse My favourite actor - Christoph Waltz, I like how versatile he is. From his comical performance in Horrible Bosses 2 to his terrifying role in Inglourious Basterds, he is always on point in his roles My favourite author - Charles Dickens My favourite drink - A classic Mojito My favourite food - This is a hard decision to make as I am a real foodie. I would have to choose a classic Carrot Cake with cream cheese frosting My favourite place to eat - Ascough’s Bistro – Market Harborough I like people who - encourage others to do well and celebrate their success I don’t like it when people - are jealous and sabotage others My favourite book - Nicholas Nickleby, it reminds me of my teenage years My favourite book character - there are too many to choose! My favourite film - I am a big fan of 80’s and 90’s films, my favourite has to be Romancing the Stone. I love adventure films, I also love The Goonies My favourite poem - Still I Rise by Maya Angelou, I say no more My favourite artist/band - – I am a big music lover. I like music from all genres from Motown and RnB to Hip hop and Drum and Bass. Whitney Houston will always be my number 1 female artist My favourite song - I don’t have one, but Chris Brown's Indigo Album has been on repeat since 2019. This album is a masterpiece My favourite art - Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh. This reminds me of the winter nights during my favourite time of year, Christmas My favourite person from history - Queen Nanny – she was a lady captured from the Asante people and brought to Jamaica and sold into slavery. She is an important figure in the Jamaican rebellion against slavery. She escaped the plantation she was held on and settled in the Blue Mountain region of Jamaica. There she set up Nanny town which was a free village for Maroons/ African slaves and Arawak that had escaped their slave masters. This settlement was a key element for the uprising against oppression. Queen Nanny was not only a liberator of over 1000 slaves, she was also a warrior and is Jamaica’s only female national hero.
My favourite TV show - My favourite current show is Friday Night Dinner. My all-time favourite has to be Breaking Bad, I’ve watched from beginning to end three times! My favourite place to go - Definitely has to be the beach, I always find being by the sea calming. My favourite place in the world is Thailand. I’ve never met such happy, friendly people. Thai street food is amazing and it’s a beautiful peaceful part of the world My favourite city - London. I have so many memories of day trips, nights out and experiences in London. Every time I probably don’t spend as much time there as I would like actually considering how easily it’s reached from where I live My favourite thing to do in my free time - Bake. You can’t beat a home-made cake. I’ve been baking a lot lately, my children are fed up of cake! My favourite athlete/sports personality - I’m not a huge sports fan but I have a lot of respect for Usain Bolt. I watched a documentary about his life once, his commitment to training and resilience was incredible My favourite actor - Morgan Freeman. He always seems to choose roles well that suit him. I don’t think I’ve seen any film’s he’s been in that I haven’t enjoyed My favourite author – I don’t think I could choose. It’s not very often I read books by the same author for myself. I do with my children though, my favourite children’s author is probably A.A. Milne or Roald Dahl because they’re classics which never grow old My favourite drink - Chocolate milkshake… I’m not sure I’ve ever grown out of drinking chocolate milk! My favourite food - Cheeseburgers. My friends call me a connoisseur of cheeseburgers because I eat them so much. Everyone I know asks me before trying out a new burger restaurant My favourite place to eat - My mum and dads house. My mum makes an amazing roast dinner. There’s nothing better than a family meal, even if I do normally end up washing up at the end I like people who - are open minded, honest and empathetic. I don’t see any reason to be anyone other than yourself. I also think the best way to learn and grow as a person is to remain open minded. As for as being empathetic, I think people show this in many different ways, sometimes it’s less obvious. I like to believe most people have some good in there somewhere I don’t like it when people - are closed minded and argumentative. I think there’s a fine line between intelligent debate and opinionated argument My favourite book - Since I was a teenager my favourite book has always been Junk by Melvin Burgess My favourite book character - Raoul Duke in Fear and loathing in Las Vegas. I find it interesting the way the character is a representation of the way the author views his life. Hunter S. Thompson was an interesting enough character without needing a fictional version My favourite film - Interstellar. Space fascinates me. I like to ponder over the possibilities of time travel. I love that physicist Nolan Thorne was hired to make the explanation of a black hole accurate My favourite poem - Warning by Jenny Joseph. I read it on my wedding day. It was actually the priest who suggested it, I think he saw I was a little bit of a wild, independent woman! My favourite artist/band - I’ve been going to raves since I was 16 so most of my favourite artists are small and less well-known DJ’s. My husband Dj’s as well, so many of them I met through him, and are now good friends of mine. I don’t think I could pick just one My favourite song - This a tough one, I like so many genres of music. I guess if I had to choose one, it would be “The way you look tonight” by Tony Bennet because it was my wedding dance song and it always makes me think of my grandparents My favourite art - My favourite type of art is portraits. I watched a documentary with artist Grayson Perry and he described how portraits are an interpretation of how the artist see’s that person. I like to look at portraits and imagine what I think that person is like My favourite person from history - It would have to be Albert Hoffman. My area of research is mostly based in psychedelic medicines and drug policy. Albert Hoffman is the scientist who discovered LSD. He’s quite well-known for accidentally administering himself the first documented dose of LSD and riding his bicycle home. He was one of the first people to recognise the potential pharma psychological benefits of hallucinogens, I like to think one day modern science will make a strong enough case to revolutionise psychiatric care with substances like LSD. Although Hoffman discovered LSD in 1943 we still don’t fully understand the full complexities of how it works on the mind
My favourite TV show - Gogglebox. There is nothing I love more on a Friday night than watching others watch TV, especially if a Chinese takeaway is involved. I do have my binge tv shows too, such as Brooklyn 99 and I love a Louis Theroux documentary My favourite place to go - During term time, it's to go to the pool at the local gym and de-stress. It helps when I’m getting stressed about uni work or even work itself. I always come out refreshed, ready to take on the day. However, I can’t go to the pool for the foreseeable future, which is a downside to liking a sport you cannot do from home. At the moment, sitting in the garden is a good way to get away and have some me time My favourite city - Barcelona. It so full of culture and bright colours. It has the most beautiful architecture and a stunning beach front. I will definitely be giving it another visit after lockdown and hope to visit Barcelona many more times My favourite thing to do in my free time - be with my family, go on long dog walks and just relax My favourite athlete/sports personality - I suppose it would have to be Rebecca Adlington. I think she is an inspirational person and her passion for swimming inspired me to take it up, however I don’t think I’ll be going pro My favourite actor - This is a hard one, I love most genres of films. Robin Williams would be very top of that list. He was such an inspirational person, and Mrs Doubtfire is one of my favourite classic films. I also absolutely love Aladdin, and his part as the genie is just amazing, there was nothing that man couldn’t do My favourite author - I have been very slack with my reading in recent years. As a child, Jacqueline Wilson was my absolute favourite. They are brilliant books, even to me now, with such meaningful messages behind the story My favourite drink - If we are going with alcoholic, it has to be raspberry gin and pink lemonade. Nothing like it on a warm summers evening and a BBQ My favourite food - This is a tricky one because I love so much food. I’d probably have to go with a burger. But I also love Chinese, Indian, pizza, pasta, the list could go on and on. The only food I’m not too bothered about is sweet food. I much prefer savoury. But on special occasions a sticky toffee pudding goes down very well My favourite place to eat - The Cherry Tree in Olney. They do the best burgers around and have so many great gins. The bar area is lovely and cosy which is important because the dog goes everywhere with us. They have a biscuit tin for dogs and he loves that, its his favourite place to go to I like people who - tell it how it is and like me for who I am. These are the best kind of people I don’t like it when people - are not truthful and patronise me My favourite book - I don’t really read, but now I have quite a lot of time on my hands it is something I have started doing. I am about halfway through The Handmaid's Tail and is one of the best books I have read so far My favourite book character - Hetty Feather, a well-known character from Jacqueline Wilson, who is very defiant and strong willed. She has not come from much but is determined to make something of herself. I admire her for that My favourite film - Probably the High School Musical trilogy, they remind me of my childhood, and I will forever love Zac Efron. Although I do enjoy a true story, such as The Darkest Hour and Saving Private Ryan. I also enjoy a cheesy rom-com, I think I’ve seen the majority of them on Netflix My favourite poem - The Caged Bird by Maya Angelou. I studied Maya Angelou during A level English Literature and found her to be an inspiring woman with an extraordinary story to tell. The poem compares the lives of those who are free and those who are not, and I believe this to be an important message in our society My favourite artist/band - Def Leppard are probably my number 1, although I like so many more My favourite song - This changes on a monthly basis, at the moment its anything by Harry Styles My favourite art - Girl with a pearl earring. Its just such an iconic painting and I would love to see it one day My favourite person from history - Princess Diana. Nothing more needed to say. Such an inspirational woman with so much to give the world
My favourite TV show - Although it finished nearly 18 years ago, I think my favourite has still got to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer. More recently I thought Succession was a great show, mainly because the characters were just so awful My favourite place to go - The Lake District, but anywhere with mountains and water will do My favourite city - Reykjavik, Iceland. It’s really laid back, fantastic galleries, museums and architecture My favourite thing to do in my free time - Is it cliché for a librarian to answer this with reading? I’ve just finished Girl, Woman, Other by Bernadine Evaristo and thought it was amazing. I’ve always got at least two books on the go. Otherwise I really like learning new crafts and do a lot of mixed media type stuff. If you see me with inky fingers, it’s what I’ve been doing My favourite athlete/sports personality - I don’t really follow team sports, but Jessica Ennis-Hill has had an amazing career. The discipline and determination to excel in such a range of events is extraordinary My favourite actor – Matt Berry is a terrific comic actor, he never fails to make me laugh. For more serious acting, I really like Elizabeth Moss My favourite author - impossible to pick just one My favourite drink - it depends on the time of day, but either a really hot cup of tea or an Aperol spritz My favourite food - Cheese My favourite place to eat - my mums, especially if it’s Christmas Day I like people who - are considerate and don’t mind poking fun at themselves I don’t like it when people - are rude to or dismissive of people trying to help them My favourite book - there are different favourites for different times in your life. I still love E. M. Forster’s A Room With a View and Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar, which I first read in my teens. Last year I read John Boyne’s The Heart's Invisible Furies which was just brilliant. I love being surprised by a new ‘favourite’ My favourite book character - Little My from Tove Jansson’s Moomins series, she doesn’t take any crap My favourite film - Stand by Me. It’s an adaptation of a Stephen King short story and never fails to make me have a little cry My favourite poem - Either 'The Applicant' by Sylvia Plath or Carol Ann Duffy’s 'Prayer'. I wrote my undergrad dissertation on Plath and still love her writing now My favourite artist/band - I mainly listen to stuff from the 60s and 70’s with quite a bit of 90’s/00’s indie thrown in too; Bowie, Blondie, Blur and the like. I used to love discovering new exciting bands when I was a teenager and it’s something I should make an effort with again My favourite song - Waterloo Sunset by The Kinks or Back to the Old House by The Smiths My favourite art - I can’t ever resist a gallery and like a mix of styles, but I do really like John William Waterhouse. I also really like book illustrations (it’s the ex-children’s librarian in me) and Jim Kay’s illustrations in A Monster Calls are just stunning My favourite person from history - I don’t really have one favourite, but when I visited Norwich I read about Edith Cavell, who was a pioneering British nurse working in Belgium during WW1. She helped injured soldiers on all sides, as well as civilians and later helped around 200 allied soldiers escape to safety. She was eventually caught, tried at court martial for treason and later executed. She was extremely brave and insistent about continuing to help others, even when it endangered herself
My favourite TV show - Westworld My favourite place to go -out for food! My favourite city - Copenhagen My favourite thing to do in my free time - I’m a gamer, so spend a lot of time on my Switch My favourite athlete/sports personality - Rafael Nadal (I took Spanish up to A-Level, and had to do a whole project on him and his life – plus I love the tennis!) My favourite actor – Fiona Shaw – she plays my absolute favourite character in Killing Eve My favourite author - that’s a hard one! Right now it’s Philip Pullman My favourite drink - tea (milk two sugars) My favourite food - a good (medium rare) steak My favourite place to eat - right now I’m missing Nuovo (Northampton) for Italian food, but I also love Mowgli (in Birmingham) for Indian food I like people who - take time to actually listen to what you’re saying, undistracted I don’t like it when people - are rude! Who does?! My favourite book - I recent read Circe by Madeline Miller, and that’s definitely up there. The Power by Naomi Alderman is also great My favourite book character - Peeves from Harry Potter 🙂 My favourite film - this does change frequently! At the moment though I still have a lot of love for Midsommar. My favourite poem - I’m not a huge poetry person, but I did find Milk & Honey from Rupi Kaur interesting (a controversial choice I guess) My favourite artist/band - The Maccabees, all day everyday My favourite song - Waiting for the beat to kick in – Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip My favourite art - Georgia O’Keefe’s From the Faraway, Nearby, or Maman from Louise Bourgeois My favourite person from history - Dolly Parton is a queen
“Once this is all over, Steph, you can come over and we can have a great big hug!”
Things I miss… let’s just start by highlighting that it is a lot of things!
Since the lockdown and being furloughed, my daily routine been shot, and all the freedoms that everyone once had have now been restricted. However, I am taking each day as it comes, and I endeavor to remain as positive as possible and do what makes me happy. This pandemic has opened up people’s eyes to everything that they take for granted on a daily basis, whether it’s visiting friends and family, going shopping or spending time out with others.
Here are some of the things that I miss:
I miss visiting some of my friends in the local area. I miss having cups of tea and doing shopping with them too.
I miss my occasional trip to Costa, or some cafe, where I can sit on my own, gather my thoughts, and put together my to-do list.
I miss going to my 2 church services on Saturday evenings, and Sunday Mornings. I miss serving the church community, and spending time with people that I love, and supporting Christian campaigns.
I miss taking my dad who his favourite Indian restaurant, and my mum to her favourite Singaporean and Malaysian restaurant.
I miss doing all my face-to-face community work and activities, and meeting with members of the community.
I miss visiting family members, and have had to call and text them to check in on them, and make sure that they are safe.
I miss going out to collect donations of glasses and small ink jets for my local Lions club as part of our local and international service.
I miss being able to regularly leave my house and go out as many times as I would like to. Before the pandemic, I would often leave the house on multiple occasions (predominantly on Saturdays as I work Monday-Friday) whether it’s to do a family shop run, post bottle tops to Lush, visiting friends and family, or going for a long walk.
However, whilst there is so much I miss doing, I am getting as much done as I possibly can during this time too, so, it’s not all that bad and negative.
I am doing so much more writing, have drafted multiple blog posts and have even tried my hand at poetry! (1) I have also immersed myself in other hobbies, such as reading more books, doing longer and multiple workouts at home. I’ve also got more time to continue working on my author page and reach more people (2).
I am calling my partner multiple times a day! Due to being furloughed and my partner working from home, we can speak on the phone for longer periods, and call each other during the day to check in on each other! It’s wonderful being able to check in on each other regularly! ❤️
As I am at home most of the time now, I am using the time to rest, recharge my batteries, and clear my head. Something which I really need to do more of…
I’ve caught up with people that I haven’t spoken to in a while. I’ve connected with old friends from university, and kept in touch with people to see how everyone is doing during this time. It’s been great catching up and speaking to people who I love and care about ❤️
In my part time job as a Member Pioneer, myself and the store have worked tirelessly to help the community. Together, we have donated PPE equipment to district nurses, donated care packs to the police, fire service and NHS staff for their work, and donated 100 Easter Eggs, 50 for nurses and 50 for a local food pantry, to say thank you, and help struggling families. This was earlier blogged about here: Love, Resilience and Practicality in the face of a Pandemic ❤️
In addition, there has been a massive increase in the time spent with the family at home! Everyone is together, and we have played games, laughed together, done family workouts, done more baking, did a family BBQ in the hot sunshine, and have spent so much more time together! The family bonding has been wonderful!
It does ask the question; once this pandemic is over, will we ever take for granted all the liberties and freedoms that were restricted? I know I certainly will not!
Let’s just take each day at a time – we’ll all pull through this!
(1) The poem I wrote: Mercy! Mercy! https://blog.sivanaspirit.com/mercy-mercy/
My author page: https://www.facebook.com/LifeOfMiraclesAndLove/
A song for Terry.
Terry was just six when he died.
Not a long time spent on this Earth,
But enough to make himself known to the universe.
There were many obstacles in life waiting for boys like Terry.
If life is a vast ocean, then he only sailed a meager ferry.
Terry was born in a place, in a time and
In a body that didn’t count much –
A poor, southern Black boy and such.
He was loved, for sure,
I’d see his grandmother kiss him every morning,
As she sent Terry off to school.
Terry’s household didn’t look like those on TV.
None of ours did.
There weren’t any of those Cosby kids.
But Terry was like my brother, my dear friend.
I looked forward to walking to school with Terry each day.
He always had something interesting to say.
Terry and I were in the same class.
He lived across the street,
And our school was just a few blocks away.
There and back,
I wanted to be by his side.
Sometimes I would walk to my grandparents’ after school,
And momma would pick me up after work.
No sooner did we get home and settled did I ask to go outside and play,
Our story was short-lived.
Two kids on the block,
On the poor side of town,
We lived cocooned in a world of luxury:
We were cared for and we were safe.
Everyone on the block looked out for all the kids;
There were no strangers around home base.
But, we also lived
In a time and place of misery,
Where things like poverty,
Would determine your destiny,
And all the dreams we would dream,
Would have to fight the sun to live.
A handsome little brown boy,
And a finely picked mini ‘Fro.
An easy smile,
And an easy-going way about him.
Terry was a nice guy.
And did I mention he was loved?
He was not the most popular kid in class –
Naw, everybody feared that guy!
Terry was the one everyone liked.
For Valentine’s day,
The whole class exchanged heart-shaped candies and notes with one another-
All in pink, my favorite color.
My one time of year to shine!
I was so excited to choose one especially for Terry, my brother:
Will you be my Valentine?
Even the teacher got along with him.
Terry never got in trouble.
He got sad-eyed when any of us got marched off to get paddled.
At lunch, I’d always sit with Terry.
Terry got free lunch, and
Peanut butter and jelly is what I got when momma packed mine!
We’d hurry to the front of the line,
And finish our food quickly,
So we could go to the play area the rest of the time.
I didn’t like milk, but Terry did.
And he didn’t care for apple sauce, but I did.
Sometimes we’d split:
Half a piece of pizza for half my sandwich.
We didn’t keep score, but
We were always even.
There, right in the middle of the cafeteria,
Smack in the middle of the school,
Was a large, carpeted recreational area.
There, we’d play and everything was cool.
After lunch, but also before and after school,
We could climb and crawl,
Spin and jump,
Run and hide,
Seek and find,
And holler as loud as we’d want.
Teachers would monitor from nearby, but
They left us alone and took their break-time.
Our teachers would even rotate who had this monitoring job to do.
We weren’t a rowdy bunch,
So, there were no fights to break-up.
There were neither hoops nor balls to tussle over.
No nets, no bats –
No competition and all that.
Just a space…
Where us kids could be free.
We were free.
Terry died in the middle of first grade.
We had found out from our teacher that Terry was sick,
We’d all heard of sickle cell, many in our own families, like mine.
But none of us knew what it means.
We knew Terry was not always sturdy.
One time he’d had a bad bout with asthma.
Our teacher helped him take his inhaler,
That she’d showed us where it was kept in her desk drawer.
Now, she was telling us that Terry was just spending a few days in the hospital.
The whole class avidly awaited Terry’s return.
She didn’t know more than that,
I needed to know when Terry’d be back.
I knocked on his door, one day
On the way home from school,
To tell his grandmother I hoped Terry’d be ok.
I knew my grandmother would be heartbroken if anything like that happened to one of us.
Kids that little aren’t supposed to die.
Not here, and not of diseases we can’t even see.
Even at that age, I knew this just shouldn’t be.
And yet turn on the TV,
Every day we see signs and symptoms of little Black boys’ morbidity.
Whether from war or starvation in distant lands, or
Dilapidation and disease on these burning sands.
Just like what was happening to Terry:
A casualty of a neglectful society.
I didn’t get to mourn Terry,
Didn’t have some cathartic corral with our classmates about
The fun times we had or how much we missed him.
There was no school counselor coming to our class –
No one explaining the cycle of life, nor
Asking us about our feelings.
I knew how I felt.
I loved Terry, and knew the way I loved him was seen as peculiar;
I couldn’t let anyone know about this one-sided affair.
I was sad, and all this was unfair.
What would I say?
We were only 6 years old, and
Terry was the first boy I ever loved.
In memory of Muhammed Ali, another Black boy who survived those same streets and corridors.